Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you struggle with negative thoughts and fears? Are you dealing with all this internal turmoil while attempting to build a relationship with someone special? Many of us answer yes to these questions. Some of us were blessed with a picturesque childhood with great role models and strong examples of how to deal with life. Others not so much. Regardless of your childhood, anxiety can affect you. You then have a choice: let this terrible feeling control me, or I will control this terrible feeling. There really isn't anything in the middle. The other day, a friend asked me if it is normal to have such bad anxiety that you vomit? My short answer was, yes, that is bad. Then I asked some follow up questions. Sometimes panic sets in for good reason. That is what I intended to ascertain. Was there a legitimate cause for this attack? It turned out that, in my not so humble opinion, there was not a good reason. My friend has a girlfriend. She has not been delt the best hand. With a mother that does not provide comfort or assurance and a father that would appear to be completely subservient to his wife. Throughout her life, it has been one stressful situation after another with parental units degrading her self esteem on an hourly basis. It almost appears that shitting on their daughter is a hobby. This girl is crazy about her boyfriend. Grateful for how kind he is and just all around smitten. My friend did grow up with good parents that supported him and built his confidence during his childhood. The boy's parents gave constant examples of how to build a strong relationship and support each other, showing affection and affirmation on a daily basis. The reason for the panic attack: Fear of a breakup. An irrational and emotional fear that appears to be based on all the examples from her childhood of people leaving her. What do you tell them? How can this situation be softened. I can relate. I too suffered anxiety and overbearing negative thoughts. Fortunately for me, I have a great deal of life experience to lean on in moments of doubt. With that experience comes the ability to look at situations and judge them logically. I have also sat through many therapy sessions that helped teach me to deal with stressful situations. My parents were both narcissistic. Mother an immature narcissist and father a sociopathic narcissist...talk about having the perfect examples of what not to do in life. Also, by the age of two, my mother and all her family despised my father; for good reason. My mother's mother referred to me as devil spawn. Not entirely wrong, but still incredibly difficult for a 5 year old to process. That is one example of the level of vociferous opinionated people that were in my family...they all adored a heavy verbal confrontation. Specifically on the topic of relationship fears, I was once a clingy mate filled with self doubt and fear. Much of this was based on my lack of positive support as a child and many examples of people that developed close relationships with me going away. Second to that was the argumentative nature of my family...very italian. Whether moving geographically or spiritually, those that really took care of me all went away. The girl I fell in love with was never able to share her feelings. Nothing was ever wrong. There were no problems at all. Everything was great. It was all bullshit. She had her crosses to bare just like everyone else. Some of which were incredibly heavy. It was the inability to share these troubles that was incredibly debilitating for me. I just could not understand how someone could keep everything bottled up inside? How big the relationship problems must have been to need to hide them. This engulfed my mind constantly for over a decade. What is wrong? Did I do something to hurt her? And with every, "nothing is wrong," the rabbit hole of despair would get deeper sending me into panic and despair. Often begging for the truth of what the issues were. Still, being so crazy about her, there was nothing to do but fight the problems. With time, constant reassurance, and a bit of professional counseling, she emerged a strong woman able to truly connect to my soul. But this isn't a post about me. Maybe some of that narcissism is genetic. Still I share to point out that I do have an understanding for the causation and the cure. Knowing the cause is half the battle, but only the lesser half. Learning how to overcome the issues and not let them control us is the larger half. Logic is the most important thing...fight the fear with clear logic. Approach the problems from the stance that we are being irrational and need to look at the situation as a spectator. "If this was my friend, how would I counsel them" The scenario here is that we have an emotionally charged female in a positive relationship but lacking the confidence to believe it is deserved or likely to be evergreen. Everyone else has left so why wouldn't this person leave me too? Well, we must affirm to ourselves that the actions of one is not indicative of the actions of another. Just because the last boyfriend tossed me to the curb like a moldy donut, does not mean that all others will do the same. Next we must accept whatever legitimacy there is to our fears. Lets face it, relationships come and go. Some of them become forever, but tomorrow is promised to no one. We must logically accept, especially early in life, that a relationship might end. We must also factor in that there are generally signs when we are moving toward a relation-shit. It is rarely without warning. Of course, if you choose an untruthful mate, then there may not be any signs. I happen to know my friend is a truly honorable man. He would not lie to his girl. He is also a fairly quiet man. The type of guy that will not share his deep feelings openly. If he fears you will not like the answer, he wont answer, but he will not lie. His girlfriend should recognize this. I believe deep down she does know this to be true. If logic were at play, we would not be discussing this at all. But, alas, this is an emotional state we are discussing. The voices scream inside that she is not good enough for him, that she has no attractive qualities and he has simply settled until someone better wanders past. At no point has this man provided any examples of this behavior but that does not really matter. The subconscious just knows he wont stay. How does one battle this self-doubt? Many brain studies have been done that show how our brain develops. They have shown how suggestive our subconscious is. They have shown how we create rhythms of thought that are very difficult to change. Nobody wants to do the work to correct negative thoughts and doubt. Nobody believes they can retrain their brain. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to fight negativity on a moment by moment basis. Every single time a negative thought enters our mind, we must immediately tell ourselves they are not true and immediately provide a positive thought. Ex: "I am not good enough. He will leave me." This must be countered with something like, "Troy, you are good enough and she is crazy about you." Every time. No matter what else is happening, these negative thoughts must be battled against. There is also something about talking to yourself by name. This was a method I read in a book. It does work. Somehow it subconsciously separates us from ourselves. We must then follow up this affirmation with some examples of how your mate has shown their care for you. "They must really care about me...remember how he served me dinner and cleared my place." And, that smile he gave me in the car...that was true happiness that he gains from me. This is the long process of rewiring your brain. Synapses have habits. They can be negative. They can be positive. If you are stuck in negative brain, you must exercise positivity. This will be the long game. In the short term, we can practice breathing exercises like box breathing, and replacing the troubled thoughts with happy thoughts, like puppies. This is not an easy thing, especially without being educated on how to approach such problems. There is another uncomfortable detail that we should mention. Negative thoughts beget negative actions. Meaning if we constantly tell ourselves that something bad will happen, something bad will happen. It will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Really what happens in relationships is the mate will eventually get tired of "proving" their love. If every time you have the belief that your mate will vacate, eventually they will realize that all their effort is for nothing...no matter what they do, their mate still believes they will leave, it becomes painful and untenable. That partner will go and find someone that can accept them at face value and not force them to continually prove themselves. A relationship must be based on trust and faith. You must have faith that your special someone cares for you and will be there for you. You must trust your mate until they give you specific reason not to trust them. To enter into a relationship with the overwhelming assumption that your other will hurt and lie to you, It will happen. In most cases, those that enter on faith and believe in trust will thrive. Not to mention, who wants to live in fear and misery. Focus on the positives and move forward as a team. Share your thoughts and fears. Share the worst of you with them and allow yourself to have faith it is good and will be good. Hide nothing. Share every terrible thought and then believe your mate when they answer your fears. Do not discount their response. Believe it. Tell yourself repeatedly that they are honest with you and carry on.

Though it pains me to admit it, the AI did a really good job writing this post. I don't imagine I will use it often, however it is interesting to see what it wrote. Butchering a sow can be a rewarding yet challenging process. After a recent butchering session, I ended up with 112 pounds of cuts, 30 pounds of grind scraps, and 40 pounds of fat. This experience opened my eyes to the importance of using every part of the animal efficiently. This post explores how to maximize the value of all parts of a sow, focusing on sustainable meat usage and practical tips for home butchers and meat enthusiasts. Understanding the Breakdown of a Butchered Sow When you butcher a sow, the meat you get can be divided into three main categories: Cuts : These are the prime portions like chops, roasts, ribs, and shoulders. They make up the bulk of the edible meat. Grind scraps : Smaller pieces and trimmings that are ideal for ground meat products such as sausages, burgers, or meatloaf. Fat : Often overlooked, fat is a valuable resource for cooking, rendering into lard, or making charcuterie. In my case, the 112 pounds of cuts represent the main meals, while the 30 pounds of grind scraps and 40 pounds of fat offer opportunities to create diverse products and reduce waste. Maximizing the Cuts: Choosing and Preparing Prime Portions The 112 pounds of cuts from the sow include a variety of options. Here’s how to make the most of them: Identify the best cooking methods : Different cuts require different approaches. For example, pork shoulder is perfect for slow roasting or braising, while loin chops are great for grilling or pan-frying. Trim smartly : Remove excess fat or silver skin to improve texture and flavor but keep some fat for moisture. Portion for convenience : Cut large roasts into manageable sizes for freezing or sharing. Use marinades and rubs : Enhance flavor and tenderness, especially for tougher cuts. By understanding each cut’s characteristics, you can plan meals that highlight the meat’s best qualities and avoid waste. Turning Grind Scraps into Flavorful Ground Meat The 30 pounds of grind scraps are a treasure trove for homemade ground meat products. Here are some ideas: Sausages : Mix grind scraps with fat, spices, and herbs to create fresh or cured sausages. Experiment with flavors like garlic and fennel or spicy chorizo. Burgers and meatballs : Combine with breadcrumbs, eggs, and seasonings for versatile dishes. Pâtés and terrines : Blend with liver and spices for rich, spreadable treats. Freezing in portions : Store ground meat in small packages for easy meal prep. Using grind scraps this way ensures nothing goes to waste and adds variety to your meals. Rendering and Using Fat for Cooking and Preservation The 40 pounds of fat from the sow can be transformed into lard, a valuable cooking fat with many uses: Rendering lard : Slowly melt the fat over low heat until it liquefies, then strain and store in airtight containers. Cooking with lard : Use for frying, baking, or roasting to add flavor and crispness. Making soap or candles : Traditional uses for rendered fat that reduce waste. Charcuterie applications : Incorporate fat into sausages or pâtés for moisture and richness. Rendering fat is a simple process that extends the value of the sow beyond just meat. Pork cuts and rendered lard ready for cooking Practical Tips for Sustainable Meat Usage To get the most from a butchered sow, consider these practical tips: Plan meals around the cuts : Use tougher cuts for slow cooking and tender cuts for quick meals. Label and date all packages : Helps with inventory management and reduces spoilage. Use bones for broth : Don’t discard bones; simmer them for rich stock. Preserve excess meat : Freeze or cure to extend shelf life. Share or trade : If you have more than you can use, share with friends or trade for other foods. These steps help reduce waste and make your meat supply last longer. Creative Recipes to Use Every Part of the Sow Here are some recipe ideas to inspire you: Pulled pork from shoulder : Slow cook with spices until tender and shred for sandwiches. Homemade breakfast sausage : Mix grind scraps with sage, salt, and pepper, then form into patties. Lard biscuits : Use rendered lard in place of butter for flaky, flavorful biscuits. Pork cracklings : Fry leftover fat pieces until crispy for a tasty snack. Pork bone broth : Simmer bones with vegetables and herbs for a nourishing soup base. Trying new recipes encourages full use of the animal and adds variety to your meals. Benefits of Using Every Part of the Sow Maximizing cuts and grind leftovers offers several benefits: Sustainability : Reduces food waste and respects the animal. Cost-effectiveness : More value from your purchase. Flavor and nutrition : Fat and scraps add richness and nutrients. Skill development : Enhances butchering and cooking knowledge. Culinary creativity : Opens doors to new dishes and preservation methods. Embracing the whole animal approach supports a more responsible and enjoyable meat experience.

Processing a pig is a rewarding challenge. Those of you raising pigs for meat sales, you must send your animal to USDA certified Slaughter and butcher houses. You are gonna pay around $5.00 per pound for them to do their thing. The only legal way to slaughter and butcher yourself and sell the meat is to have the customer take part. Ultimately, the customer is buying the live animal and you then assist them in the slaughter and butchering process. The theory is that as an active participant, you saw the process and approved of every aspect of the process in real time. Of course you can process your own animal and give away meat. That is fine. I must admit that I had never pondered why it is forbidden to sell what you process but it is absolutely fine to give it away? I highly doubt that paying for it makes the situation more likely to harbor food borne illness. I have discussed why we have meat inspected when processed, but if we the people cannot be trusted to safely process meat without an agent of the government watching when it is for sale, I would think the same laws would apply to all meat. This pig is for our freezer and our family only so the USDA situation does not apply, still it deserves a mention on any post regarding slaughter. This particular animal was a breading sow named Rosie. She was a great pig, a kuni kuni by breed, and a real pleasure to have on the farm. Rosie has provided us with a freezer full of pork for about five years with litters of up to 7 piglets. One or two litters a year. This year we breed her to our Berkshire boar with 2 cross breed piglets being produced. We also did a post earlier this year about the cross breeding project. After this birthing, Rosie started to show her age. She was not moving around much and had ultimately become too fat and heavy for her short legs. One must keep in mind that Kuni's are a pot belly pig and they can get too fat to move. It was clear that our options were clear. She had to move to the final stage of farm life for a pig...the freezer. Kunis are slow growing animals. Generally birth to slaughter is at least a year. We went up to two to get them built up with enough muscle mass to make it worthwhile. Most livestock in our country is harvested around 6 months of age with many among us refusing to eat meat from an animal that is more than a year old. I have found some legitimacy with Chickens on this topic, but all of the "older" animals I have eaten have been tender and delicious so I just don't buy into this theory that older animals are less enjoyable to eat. The morning of, I found her resting in the middle of her pen. I could have rousted her out of the pen and made her walk to a more convenient spot for me, however I did like this animal and thought it would be better for her to drop her where she lay. So that is what I did. A perfect shot with a 30-30 just below the ears. During the butchering, I took a series of photos for EMT class that will show the effects of a rifle round. I also confirmed that my placement was perfect, scrambling the brains and severing her spinal cord. The bullet wound section of the skull was saved for EMT class. Getting her out of the pen was the first challenge. I did not want to drag her through the muck and I did not have a straight pull out of the pen. I had to use a winch pulley to get her out. I attached the pulley to the gate post and ran the rope from the tractor through the pulley to Rosie. We still had the muck to consider. I rolled her onto a tarp and then did some fancy rope work. I pulled the rope past the pig to the far end of the tarp and tied the ends of the tarp with the rope. I then made a half hitch around a hind leg and tied the front corners of the tarp to the rope. Back to the tractor and pulled her up to the gate. I was worried that she would roll as I pulled but my tarp hammock worked great and she slid right up to the door. I was able to move the tractor a bit and remove the pulley and pulled the rest of the way out of the pen. Using Meat hooks with the tow hooks on the bucket, I hoisted her up and drove out back to our processing kitchen. There are three ways to begin this process. First is to dip the carcass into a vat of 160 degree water to loosen the hair. After the dip, all the hair is scraped off. Option two is to use a propane torch and blister the skin, then scrape off the burnt layer and hair. The third method is to skin the animal like any other animal. I chose to skin it. I do not yet have a tank big enough to dip a whole pig and nobody in my family really likes to eat the skin so I end up cutting it off. The other reason I skin our pigs is the fat. The Kuni kuni is a lard pig. Rosie had a fat layer 6 inches thick on many parts of her carcass. To keep the skin on and cook with such a thick layer of fat is not appealing to me. Also, we use the lard to make soap and to fill our deep fat fryer. Getting below the skin is necessary with these pigs if you intend to use the fat for anything. Skinning is the longest part of the slaughter process. I hang the animal from the hind feet and begin skinning at the hind feet and quarters working my way around the animal, and from the top down. Many people stop at the neck, cut off the head, and dispose of it all together. Given that the pig cheeks are a delicacy, I skin all the way from ham to snout. As I am working, knowing that I will be disposing of the pelt, I cut finger holes in the skin. This allows me to pull the skin out effectively as I cut it away from the carcass. If we ever save hides for tanning, I will stop puncturing the skin. An important detail to focus on at the beginning is the anus and urethra. You don't want G.I. contents on your meat. I carefully cut the anus away from the flesh and reach in and either cut the connective tissue or just rip it away with my fingers. Once the large intestine is separated, I put a zip tie around it and pull it as tight as I can. Then push it through down to the pelvic cavity. Then continue with the skinning. Once the skin is free, it is time to remove the guts. Lacerate the abdominal cavity up top at the hind quarters. Make sure the intestine and the urethra and vessels are all disconnected from the frame. Now I place my hand inside the peritoneum and push the organs in, away from the peritoneum. All the intestines and stomach want to fall out and will press forward on your hand. Remember you do not want to puncture any part of the G. I. system. So keep your hand in there and carefully, and slowly, lacerate the lining all the way down to the breast bone. Prior to this step, I like to put something under the carcass to catch the guts. I have used wheel barrows, buckets, and the animal skin. This time I used the animal skin to land the yuck on. Keep in mind that there are some very delicious organs in there. What do I use? Liver Kidneys Pancreas Heart Lungs Many cultures eat the intestines as well...I do not. The liver is only delicious if you like liver or are dying of starvation. (explained in a previous post) I enjoy Liver and my daughters love liverwurst which is labor intensive to make, but worth it if you like it. I used to use the heart and lungs for Soffritto (also explained in another post) but over the past few years they have all gone to EMT Classes as they are virtually identical to human organs at a 1:1 ratio. Pancreas and Kidneys all go into my grind for sausage. The pancreas has a unique flavor which I do not enjoy on its own. Attached to the pancreas is a unique piece of fat that looks like lattice. I save this lattice and wrap a roast with it. The finished product looks amazing when presented at the table. Other oddities in the pig are the tongue and the cheeks. The tongue is gross. Many cultures find it to be a delicacy, but I just cannot eat tongue. I have added it to the grind in the past and it does good there. This time, I am using the undesirable bits for the next batch of dog food. I have had tongue prepared by others in the past and enjoyed it just fine, however having seen the tongue in action... Guancialli, pork cheek, on the other hand is quite possibly my favorite part of the animal. Tender meat with velvety soft fat swirling throughout, this is some of the best eating you will probably never experience in America. The problem with the cheeks is that it is labor intensive and time consuming to get the face meat. The skin and hair are thick. There are tons of little bone points that you must scrape the meat off of. The lips and jaw then pose an additional challenge. Still, after all the work, you will have two beautiful velvety pillows of heaven for your devouring delight. There are several ways to prepare, but I use the cheeks for pancetta (Italian Bacon) and other times I cure it like Capicola. If you are looking to learn how to slaughter and butcher animals, send us a message and we will teach you how.

Welcome to Farm Life Farm. Find handmade signs and soaps here. Eggs, Lamb, Pork, Poultry, and rabbits. Let us feed you and teach you to feed yourself! With our sawmill, we can mill your timber and build your outbuildings together HOME Phoebe's Page Shop Farm Education & Training Medical Education & Training Woodwork Tractor Work Saw Mill Rabbits Sheep Pigs & Lard-based Soaps Birds Horses About Blog Search our Site WELCOME Welcome to Farm Life Farm Established 2024 We are a family owned and operated livestock farm in Connecticut's Northwest corner. Address 91 Prospect Mountain Rd Bantam CT 06750-1410 Phone 860-209-1590 Email farmlifefarmllc@gmail.com Connect

Use our sawmill to custom mill your trees. We will pick-up, mill, and deliver wood back to you. We also provide instruction on Milling. saw mill HOME Phoebe's Page Shop Farm Education & Training Medical Education & Training Woodwork Tractor Work Saw Mill Rabbits Sheep Pigs & Lard-based Soaps Birds Horses About Blog Search our Site Farm Life Farm hosts a Woodland Mills HM130Max We can mill logs up to 30 inch diameter and 16 feet long. sawmill services We will pick up your logs and mill them to your desires. We can also have you bring your logs and learn to mill them yourself Pick-up & delivery are always available Any wood species up to 30 inch diameter up to 16 feet long Start Now Inquiries Custom Milling Log Pick Up/delivery Instructional sessions Contact us now We will pick up your logs and mill them to your desires. We can also have you bring your logs and learn to mill them yourself Inquiries Custom Milling Log Pick Up/delivery Instructional sessions Contact us now

Signs, tables, and outbuildings. Allow Farm Life Farm to work with you to design and build your chicken coop, shed, or treehouse with you. We work with fresh milled lumber and upcycled materials. Farm Life Farm also creates wood signs and tables. HOME Phoebe's Page Shop Farm Education & Training Medical Education & Training Woodwork Tractor Work Saw Mill Rabbits Sheep Pigs & Lard-based Soaps Birds Horses About Blog Search our Site Woodworking We create many items with our mill. Burned and carved signs, cutting boards, and tables are some examples. We also build sheds, root cellars, and outbuildings with native woods and upcycled materials. To play, press and hold the enter key. To stop, release the enter key. Inquiries Coops Hutches Sheds Root Cellars Gates Burning Contact us now There may be no better way to communicate what we do than through images. As you browse our site, take a few moments to let your eyes linger here, and see if you can get a feel for our signature touch. Below is our Sawmill shelter. We had a vision of a structure built off of the tree limb at the front left. This led to a truly unique build with plenty of technical challenges to overcome. The roof rafters were custom built to allow more clearance for loading logs while providing cover for the operator